Oh Dear
by Museteki
Summary: Oh no! Max is on a sugar high and Fang has a giant crayon to knock her out with and Ari is directing fate and avocados are taking over the story and the flock is wishing on stars and there is guacamole! ACK!
1. Sugar!

**Heya people. This is my story, "Oh Dear." Enjoy!**

"Oh my god! Do YOU want wonton soup??!!!?!_ I_ want wonton soup! Want wonton! Hahaha! Doesn't that sound FUNNY!?! Want wonton! Want wonton! Want wonton! I'm going to go make some Ramen noodles! Because that's the only thing I can make! Well, unless it's something that can be made in a microwave… Or peirogies... or PastaRoni... Oh my god!!! Do you see that?! That's the color GGGRRREEEEEENNN!!! On that tree! Wow! That's amazing! Amazing! AMazing! AMAzing! AMAZing! AMAZIng! AMAZINg! AMAZING! I wish tree leaves were purple and orange. or pink and green. or pink and brown. or- Oh my god, like, Iggy! You have, like, HAIR! I have hair! And so does Fang, Nudge, Gazzy, Angel, Ari, Max 2, Jeb, Anne, Sam, Lissa, Ella, Dr. Martinez, and, and, and, so does, like, other PEOPLE! Or other NOT people, you know, like, us! I wonder if I could light Lissa's hair on fire... or ice... then she wouldn't _have_ hair! wow! Do you want homemade chocolate chip cookies, right now, right here, or twenty years ago? Hey! Let's go to CANAD-oof!" Max fell to the ground. "Cheap meds... heehee Madagascar... like nascar but with madag instead of n... wonder ponder... pilates pirates... wishful wistful...." She mumbled. Fang held his giant tangerine crayon up in triumph! Unfortunately, this and the fact that Max had just gone crazy and started rambling caused the rest of the flock to stare at them in horror and shock! GASP!

"Fang, um… why did you hit knock out Max? And why was Max, so, hyper?" Nudge said.

"Well, you see Nudge, It all started about twenty four minutes and twelve seconds ago…"

"Me and Max were just, like, flying around, you know, like, flappityflapflap, when suddenly she cried out in pain or something, and landed in front of Kroger's. Still, like, crying like an insane avian American, she went inside and was all, Oh –sob- My GOD!! Like, where's the –sob- sugar? To some guy named something. But I don't really know, because I'm not all omniscient and stuff… and I didn't ask. Anyway, the guy told her, and then she ran over to the sugar, and like, took it all. And then she flew out of the store, and her wings mysteriously vanished. So she fell in a tree, and was, like, killing the sugar! And then she ate it all. So, yeah!" When Fang finished his story, Iggy went up to him and started to give him potatoes. But it turned out that Fang is **_ALLERGIC!_** To potatoes. So Fang died…

"OH MY GOD! IGGY! YOU KILLED FANG! LET'S DO A HAPPY DANCE, RUN AWAY, FALL IN LOVE, AND GET MARRIED!" Nudge said.

"Like, YEAH!" Said Iggy. But then they died too because of rabid fan girls who were supporters of Figgy and Fudge. But isn't that kinda weird? They like BOTH Figgy and Fudge. Interesting....

So anyway, Gazzy died, and then Angel died, like, somehow. Be creative or something. And then Max killed herself because Fang was dead. And her last words were "FFFAAAXXXXXXXX!!!!!1"

THE END!!!!!

Noo! wait!!!!!!

Then they all came back to life, but sadly they were smushed to death by avocados.


	2. Mwahaha!

Ari chuckled to himself as the quite odd scene played out before him. You see, Ari had caused _everything_. He was the guy who told Max where the sugar was. And though that doesn't seem very important, IT IS! Trust me! Ari was bossing FATE around when he did that! But Ari is in for a big surprise… AND AVOCADOS ARE IN HIS FUTURE!


	3. Avocado Flock

"Wakey, Wakey, my love!" said Fang. Max opened her eyes to see an avocado staring down at her. Seeing Max, who was also an avocado, gaping at him incredulously, he quickly tried to explain. "My goodness, you don't know, do you? Well, you see, when we were smushed to death by avocados, our souls went into the avocados, obviously. I mean, what else would they do? Okay, getting off track. And so, my sweet, we are walking, talking, flying avocados. And our wings are made out of avocados too. It's rather fun to fly. Oh, and terribly sorry for knocking you out." Said Avocado Fang, in an English accent.

"That's okay Fang. But since when are you British? And since when am I your love and your sweet?" Avocado Max said. Avocado Fang reddened slightly.

"Well, umm, first of all, I've always been British. JP (A/N my uncle's name is JP!!!! short for James Paul, not James Patterson, unfortunately. Ah well. Oh well. Back to da story) just never mentioned it. And, well, as for the _other_ question, you see, I've decided to let you know that I lo-" Avocado Fang was cut off as three avocados somehow managed to give him a hug.

"Oh my god, Fang! You're BRITISH! I like that British singer, Lily Allen. Do you like her? I like her. Do you? Oh wait, I already asked that. I really like that song Alfie, do you? Oh my god! Were you just about to finally tell Max that you love her? You know what's weird? Now that we're avocados, how are you two gonna kiss? Whoa! How are you gonna, like, you know, have kids? Are they gonna be avocados? Holy Crap! How are you gonna give birth, Max?! What if you have twins? Gasp! Don't you love the word wisteria!?!! It's such a fantastic word! And-" This time it was Avocado Nudge who was cut off as Avocado Iggy appeared out of nowhere and tackled her to the ground.

"Let's get our bodies back by wishing on a star!" suggested Avocado Angel. Since they didn't have any other ideas and they didn't have much else to do, they went to go and try it, while Avocado Total, who was forgotten in the first chapter, went to go make guacamole out of himself.


	4. Star light, Star bright!

"Star light, star bright, first star I see tonight, I wish I may, I wish I might, have this wish I wish I wish tonight." They said in unison. Five of them made a wish about getting back to their own bodies, but one of them, coughcoughfangcough, excuse me, made a wish that went something like, "I wish I knew if Max was in love with me or not." AWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW!! SO SWEET! Luckily, Max wished not only for herself, but for the whole flock too. They got back in their bodies, but Ari was waiting and ready. Wait... I mean, ready and writing. CURSES!! READY AND WAITING!! Yay! I got it!

Oh crap, this isn't part of the story is it? Oh well. Jeez my chapters are short... giggle... oh well. Hey, does anybody else LOVE peirogies??(sp?)(?)(?)(?)(?)(?)(?)(?)(haha... I'm a bit hyper...) Well, anyway, I do. Goshers I'm bored. I'm SUPPOSED to be doing lit homework... but I usually don't, as my friends know. Hey, has anybody else noticed how INCREDIBLY alike Sukisho and Princess Princess are? I mean, the crossdressing, the long-haired blonde who's enthusiastic, the new bluenette who is... quirky, and the pinkette who's femine, grumpy, and PMS-ey? And the all boys school, too! It's really quite interesting. Oh! guess what my animal spirit totem is at the moment? A lynx! Yeah, the discription in the book (Animal Speak) matches me PERFECTLY! Wow, I just looked at what I wrote... and it's really pointless. So yeah... ummm... bye...


	5. Mwahaha! 2 Ha! Mwa! Ha! Haha!

"Mwahaha! I am the almighty ARI! In fact, after _Evan Almighty _and _Bruce Almighty_ have forever been forgotten, They are gonna make _Ari Almighty_!!!! And Tom Cruise will play ME! (A/N Only 'cause they are both on crack, no offense though, Tom Cruise fans.) Mwa! Ha! And, now, I am going to steal Max, and she is gonna fall in love with me, and then she will kill Fang! Oh yeah, and then Tom Cruise will fall in love with me! And Max is gonna wear a shirt that says, "Scientologists make better actors. But Ari is hot." Mwahaha!" screamed Ari. Unbeknownst to him, however, as soon as he started ranting, Nudge had snuck up behind him with medicine that makes people or not people, like the flock, turn into a delicious meal of lightly seasoned grilled salmon with teriyaki sauce on the side, and white rice, and a vegetarian sushi roll. (A/N my dream dinner! -mouth waters-) She stuck the needle in the back of his head and watched him turn into the meal with satisfaction.

"Nudge, what motivated you to do this?" said her awful therapist.

"He, like, was, like, um, competition, like, duh! I, um, mean, like, seriously, talking is, like, MY territory, so, um, yeah. Like, jeez!" she said in a very valleygirlish voice. The dinner was very big, as in the salmon was as big as a school bus, so EVERYBODY ate it! The effects wore off though, so little, mini, Aris popped up in sewers everywhere. (A/N EWW!)

"Ewwwey!" They all said.

"Ewwwey!" Said me. Again.

"Ewwwey!" Said the people reading this. (A/N HINT HINT!)

**Also I'm done with this story. I'm not going to continue. Just sayin. And there might not be another one as crack-ish as this one, considering the fact that I got better ADHD medicine... lol... GET DAYTRANA! It's too good...**


End file.
